Come Home DPF

The content drought continues:

Am in a remote part of Scotland with no cellphone or Internet so don’t expect many posts for another day or two.

We eagerly await David's return.

Meanwhile, I wonder if DPF has managed to catch up with his mate, Matthew Elliott, during his stay in the UK.

More Slow News Days: Farrar Gets on the Stag With Mates, Nothing to Write Home About

 Nothing to write about because nothing happened, or because that which happened can't be repeated in public?

The stag do was very civilised – a black tie affair at one of the private clubs.  Gin and tonics before dinner, wine during dinner and port after dinner. Lots of very funny speeches.

 Do we care? Does anyone? Only our view-count over time will tell.

Mates Laughing at Mates

It appears David's mates like to have a bit of a dig at him on occasion:

I know Farrar personally – people make fun of his girth all the time.

I trust for DPF it is like water off a duck's penguin's back.

Slow News Day

Are these DPF's mates?


Probably not.

Tweeting about Mates

Here are some of Farrar's twitter posts about mates. You can say a lot about mates in 120 characters.

Here Farrar tweets about having a drink with his mates

That's not all though. Farrar is friends with Act in general.


but Farrar isn't friends with everyone. Sometimes it's not ok to call someone a mate.


These are wise words indeed.

Hey Whale Oil, I told you so.

On Wednesday Whale Oil posted about Farrar's mate

We need photos to see what has addled his brains so much. My readers don’t believe David P. Farrar. We want photographic evidence.

I posted that the Whale was wrong about Farrar's mate being imaginary.

Today Farrar posted about his trip around Wales. It looks like he's having a pretty good time. There are a few holiday snaps including one of his good mate Anna*.

Anna, at the top of the Norman keep.

There you are Whale Oil. This is photographic evidence. You had better believe it.

*Possibly the same Anna who Farrar nicknamed 'Miss Ten' back in 2005.

Old Mates

This just in, only six years late:

A list of Farrar's internet mates. In the intervening period, has the kiwi-blogger maintained his relationships? Or have prurience, political tides, and playing fantasy, role-playing games* taken their toll on the list?

Is Farrar still in love?

Excruciating Correct Behaviour – well I gave Anna her nickname of Miss Ten, so need more be said. A very close friend.

Be he still proud?

Rodney Hide – very proud to call Rodney a mate. (DPF, circa 2005).

And is he still secretly gaming?

Enraged and Amused – Jason does secret things every Wednesday with me

[And from the comments]

Icehawk: "Hmmm. NZ is a small place. If you’re doing things with Jason on Wednesdays, is that still when Whelan does his games? If so you’re the wrong generation for Idiot/Savant: he’s likely to show up for strategy games Fridays at Qarls place with a younger ex-Kaos mob, while you’re likely to meet members of an older ex-Kaos mob at Chris’s. They don’t quite intersect." 

Stay tuned for further high-quality, online, investigative journalism into Farrar's mates at Farrar Mates.

Best Mates, Worst Song

It's Official, DPF Has More Mates Than Dale

First of all, for those of you that were worrying about the future of your favourite blogging mate:

I’m not going to, and never would, do an Iain Dale and stop blogging – I enjoy it too much for that.

I suspected that with this attitude, David must have a lot more mates than his conservative mate Iain.

A brief data grab from Google Reader backs this up:

• David has 1,348 subscribers in Reader and makes 61.8 posts per week.

• Iain has 638 subscribers in Reader and makes 0.5 posts per week.

Well done David.

And it seems even DPF can never have enough mates.

But what I am going to try, is to see if there are any readers interested in helping out with Kiwiblog. These are not paid roles, but volunteer roles. A chance to contribute, and if you really want have a fancy title

Any takers?

Imaginary friend?

Cameron Slater of Whale Oil Beef Hooked made some pretty harsh comments about the nature of David P. Farrar's mates.

Two days ago he told us about his imaginary friend and about his rental car, a gay Prius.

Imaginary friend? I don't think so. All you need to do is to flick through the photos on DPF's facebook page and you know that DPF doesn't have to make up mates.

Then Slater looks back to 2008 when Farrar was keeping a different kind of company.

Back then he was on a boys trip, now he is travelling with his imaginary friend, who allegedly votes Greens.

Come on Slater; it doesn't matter who you vote for. Mates are mates. Back in 2008 Farrar was hanging with his mates, a German Girl and a Ginga Ninja.

We need photos to see what has addled his brains so much. My readers don’t believe David P. Farrar. We want photographic evidence.

We believe you David but we wouldn't say no to seeing some holiday snaps.

Giggling about Orgasms

Farrar is having a good ol' time with his mate Anna.

So I asked Anna to grab the iPad from the glove box and to google for the UK speed limit on motorways. She grabs the iPad and opens Sarfari. Then just as she starts typing she starts giggling and asks why my last Google search was for “clitoral orgasm”. I start pissing myself with laugher because there was in fact an absolutely innocent, yet complicated, reason for why I had googled that term.

DPF explained that reason to Anna but he didn't want to tell us. I guess it's just a joke between mates then.

From the Book of Farrar

A life tip for a hypothetical mate:

However if a female friend of mine told me that Mike Tyson has asked her back to his hotel room at 2 am, my advice would be not to go – or at least not to go alone, as you might not be safe.

Thanks DPF, for keeping an eye out for a mate.

Even Volcanic Ash Cloud Can't Keep Kiwiblogger From Cavorting With Old Chums

Marrying off one's mates is a big deal. Old mates are even more important. That's why Farrar trusts Stuff's* advice on trans-hemispheric aero-travel in the face of vulcanized airborne threats:

Stuff reports:

Stranded passengers are holding their breath as a giant ash cloud in New Zealand’s airspace begins to move away, with hopes all flights could resume by today.
The ash cloud – made up of two plumes – was shifting to the east, away from New Zealand, the Wellington Volcanic Ash Advisory Centre said.

Good. I am due to fly to Auckland, and then Heathrow via Hong Kong this evening. I have been moderately anxious.

Even the extravagant blogging-income of New Zealand's most prolific online commentators can't bear a trans-oceanic, weekend jaunt:   

One of my oldest mates is getting married in England, so I am heading over for the wedding (and stag do). Not cost effective to fly over just for a weekend, so going for around a fortnight. A friend from Germany and I are holidaying around- one week in England and Wales and one week in Scotland before the wedding at Lytham St Annes, which is on the coast in Lancashire.

While carrying out his mately duties, Farrar also entertains extra-New Zealandic mateship opportunities:

By coincidence I’ll be in London the same night as Rotorua MP Todd McClay – Saturday 25 June. We’ll be hosting a pub meeting for Kiwis and anyone else interested for an update and chat on NZ politics. I’ll blog details of the pub ext next week.

*Or Stuff, if you prefer.

Heartwarming

A wee gem here

I think it is a good thing that Darren’s friends are sticking hy [sic] him, and supporting him. That is what friends should do.

Wise words.

Farrar Backs Mates, Marriage

Farrar backs marriage, particularly for his mates:

Personally I'm still a believer in marriage, and I am typing this from an apartment in London, as I have travelled to the UK to attend the wedding of one of my mates. I love seeing a couple commit to remaining together until death do them part. 

... but sees a bleak future for the institution:

But the statistics out last week from Stats NZ show marriage continues to be in decline, perhaps terminal decline. The marriage rate is now barely higher than the divorce rate.

 Will Farrar be in the running for his mate's newly minted wife's bouquet? Or will romance bloom out of digital security faux-embarrassment?

Party Time in Palmy

Great to see David out having a good time with his mates.

Looking sharp DPF.

Mates With Which To Mix Friendship, Security and Pleasure

The key to all of Farrar's digital secrets is the name of a mate who is an ex-love:

I’m on holiday with one of closest friends, who is German. We’re exes from around 15 years ago but have only caught up twice since then
...
I blush and confirm that yes she has been my PC password for the last 15 years. Hard to tell from the look whether she regards this as a good or a bad thing  

We can only hope his holiday doesn't end in the shouting of passwords from rooftops.

Family First Offended as Farrar Considers Christmas Gifts

 Come Christmas time, Farrar has naught but his mate's families in mind:

Bob McCoskrie blogs:

Family First NZ is calling on bookstores to ban the sale of an offensive book entitled “Go the F*** to Sleep” by Adam Mansbach.

...

This is going to make such a great Christmas present to my friends who have small kids.

 Would that I could give such thoughtful gifts.

Mates Entertaining Mates

A little light-hearted culture was on the cards for DPF and his comrade Auckland Girl as they enjoyed a badly behaved night at the theatre

Within minutes I was laughing as loud as anyone there.

In typical Farrar style he had a connection to the star of the show

In fact I later discovered she actually is a singing coach to a friend of mine who sings.

It is nice to see mates entertaining mates.